I woke up this morning to lightning and thunder outside our window. It had been storming relentlessly all night, but I didn't realize until after my shower (probably not a good idea to take a shower during a lightning storm. Oops.) that it had also been snowing!
In my attempt to get Tasha and I to work this morning, I  ended up spinning out on the loop. I just completely lost control. We ended up against a guardrail, facing the wrong direction, and completely stuck. My wheels would spin, but I couldn't get enough traction to get us out. Someone stopped to talk to us for a minute, but there was nothing he could do. Tasha ended up getting out and pushing, (she is amazing) but nothing seemed to help.
We finally got out after I got my wheels turned at an angle that would generate some friction. We ended up turning around and going home after that.
I'm not really sure what I could've done differently to prevent all this. I've lost control on ice before, but I'm usually pretty good about not touching the breaks, or over-correcting, and getting straightened out safely.
But, I feel like I failed somehow. It could've been a LOT worse, but it was luck that kept us safe, not me. I don't like to rely on luck. I should've done better.

Yesterday, I had another counseling session with Cindy, just her and I. It was pretty rough, and the subjects were scattered. Even Cindy was talking about how she usually doesn't like to keep things so "universal". She likes to focus on issues one at a time rather than such broad behavioural problems. But she was optimistic. She said that it basically all comes down to a confidence issue with me.
I need to find what makes me happy.
I'm focusing too much on wanting Tasha to be happy, and I'm losing my own sense of value. I'm comparing myself to other people too much and I'm not seeing what makes me special. I have to find something to like about myself.
The battle with yourself is always the hardest.