We’re gong to Mineral Wells this weekend. I stopped by the 3rd floor today to let my mom know and to fill her in on things that have been occurring lately.
I chose to see her today, because she’s hasn’t asked to see me in a while. Usually when I see her, its out of guilt or pity, because she’s had to beg or plead with me to spend time with her. But today, I saw her out of respect, because she hasn’t begged for my attention. She has given me space; recognized me as an individual who makes my own choices for my own reasons. I can enjoy spending time with her if we stand on level ground for mutual benefit.
But, if she makes claims on my time, attention, or emotions, then I lose that respect. She has often been guilty in the past of making claims on my life and of being demanding of my time because of all the “things she’s done for me…” Well, I don’t respond to demands. I do not respond to obligations pushed on me without my consent. I do not ask for favors I cannot repay. I sternly object to gifts of time and attention that are to be unloaded on me without my awareness or consent so that a person may collect an undetermined debt on me in the future.
I am an admirer of freedom, and all that it entails. I respect people who respect my decisions. I respect people who don’t expect or wait for me to make the decisions that they think I should make. Give me respect and freedom, and you will have my admiration and companionship. But start making demands, claims of debt, gratitude owed; if you start to try to bury me in guilt and relentless pity, I will vehemently retract from you all that you ask for. I am not a charity. I am a human being of value. I will only exchange respect for respect; worth with worth. I do not give to people who only take.
